"None of That Mushy Stuff"

A love note to my Auntie, Toni.

“9 Months w/ Aunt Toni” shot by David McMillan (8/30/1990)

I left her house absentmindedly that night, as if she was going to stay. I moved in ritual: left my apartment, ran downstairs to the fourteenth floor, rang the doorbell, and walked in. I was a regular house guest and she allowed it. She may have secretly loved my frequent visits to her home, but she never expressed the words. My Auntie didn’t do vulnerability well. In fact, if you dared initiate it, she’d brush off the sentiment and tell you to your face, “Come on now, knock it off. None of that mushy stuff.” It was an inconvenient adjustment I was willing to accept, but I didn’t always love it. I’m the mushy type, so this lack of emotional expression from her rained on my parade.

September 18th was her earth-side birthday. I knew she was a Virgo before I knew I was a Sagittarius. She wasn’t prideful of too many things, but being a Virgo made her smile. Auntie had that sparkle in her eyes every now and again when she would subtl…